*cough, cough…gulp*

This…won’t take long. I only have a short time to write this to you before I lose consciousness. I was faced with a bit of a dilemma yesterday. I needed to review a film for today but I had trouble finding one that hadn’t been covered by my Babblebros already. So I did what I normally do in this situation; I looked at the weekend’s top 5 money makers and make a selection from there. Can’t be the 33 year-old dude, alone at The Frog Princess, so I chose movie number four, Did You Hear About the Morgans? This is where my tragedy begins.

Hugh's face says "I'll never work in Americer* again." *British pronunciation

Did You Hear… is an attempted rom-com by Miss Cogeniality writer/ director, Marc Lawrence, about Paul (Hugh Grant) and Meryl Morgan (Sarah Jessica Parker), a married couple, estranged by Paul’s infidelity. While out trying to reconcile, the couple witnesses the murder of one of Meryl’s clients. The murderer identifies them and they are forced into witness protection. They are relocated to Ray, Wyoming and a ton of clichés are recycled while the plot takes a nap and SJP teaches us that New York is different than Wyoming. The end.

There’s honestly nothing redeemable about this movie. There was no chemistry between the principle characters, the comedy was stale and mistimed and the script was clumsy. The director even abused the use of the beloved music-laden montage. Had I known it would do this much damage I’d have walked out after the first ten failed comedy scenes.

Sarah's contemplating if a jump would hurt worse than this script.

I wish I could tell you that I escaped this abomination with my life and dignity intact but thats not reality. I was maimed by close ups of SJ’s long face, bombarded by looks of shame and discomfort on Hugh Grant’s beleaguered mug and what they did to poor Sam Elliot (Tombstone), Wilford Brimley (Cocoon) and Mary Steenburgen (The Proposal) would shame a GITMO warden. I’m glad I lived long enough to warn you of the comic death trap this film is.

Sam Elliot: "This was more fun with Kurt Russell and Val Kilmer."

*cough, weeze…gasp*

I can’t hold…on much longer so let me say, once you’ve seen Sherlock Holmes, The Frog Princess and Avatar (twice), if you’re looking for another movie to see this holiday, don’t follow me down the boulevard of broken film. Save yourself and find a showing of An Education starring Peter Sarsgaard & Carey Mulligan. It’s sure to be the “where-did-that-came-from” film when Oscars nods are doled out.

Sarah Jessica Parker has the history and future of Sex and The City to help her rebound from this resumé blotch, Hugh Grant may never recover. With my final breath, I say to SJP, I know this was just an effort to get public again before SATC2, I hope it was worth your soul. I give Did You Hear About The Morgans? a rare and painful 1 out 5 Babbles.

*choke…gasp…flatline*

About The Author

Related Posts

No Responses

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.